


(Not) Freaking Out

by CasualMaraudering



Series: A Series Of (Un)Fortunate Events [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comfort, Gay Sirius Black, Insecurity, M/M, Sirius is a ball of worry but James is there to fix that, Weddings, cause Fuck The Blacks (with few exceptions), pre-wedding stress, whenever Sirius's mum or dad is mentioned yall know it's the Potters I hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22185196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualMaraudering/pseuds/CasualMaraudering
Summary: “Regulus said you’re freaking out.”“I’m not,” Sirius hisses, even though he knows it’s a lie, and he knows James can tell that it is.“And what is it exactly that you’renotfreaking out about?” James raises a brow, leaning against the door.“It’s-,” Sirius sighs, his eyes falling to the floor. “D’you think this is a good idea? Y’know… getting married and all?”James sighs. “Bit too late for changing your mind, mate-”
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: A Series Of (Un)Fortunate Events [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1579882
Comments: 10
Kudos: 165





	(Not) Freaking Out

Sirius can’t pinpoint why he’s nervous, honestly.

The past months haven’t bothered him like that in the slightest - the opposite, actually. All the preparations and plans had him excited beyond rationality. Planning a wedding is annoying, truly, because Sirius has no idea about flowers or colours, so his and Remus’s mums were responsible for most of the choices, but despite it getting repetitive and troublesome, it filled him with joy and a giddy tickle in his stomach. Because the endgame to all these months of constant choices, colour schemes, flower arrangements and cake flavours was him marrying Remus, and Sirius still didn’t tire of thinking about that. 

Or at least until this morning. The morning of the wedding; in less than an hour, he’d go down to the garden, stand next to Remus and they’d be married.

Sirius reckons he should be excited but for some stupid reason he’s pacing around the room right now, full of nerves. He keeps fiddling with his cufflinks (it’s a gorgeous silver pair, with Canis Major carved in it - a family heirloom, actually, that uncle Alphard has given him as an early wedding gift), resisting an urge to run his hands through his hair, which had been very carefully combed and styled by Marlene, who threatened Sirius with horrors beyond imagination if he ruined her hard work.

He keeps checking his pocket watch as well - another one of the few heirlooms he’s kept; he feels like a posh prick for having a pocket watch in 2019, but it was a birthday gift from his baby brother so he doesn’t care. 

Speaking of his favourite younger brother (and only younger brother, but that’s beside the point), just as Sirius is about to hyperventilate, the door to the room opens and Regulus’s head pops through the crack.

His eyes scan Sirius’s figure (Sirius stops pacing when he finally notices that Reg is there, after a good few seconds) and then his brows furrow.

“You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”

Sirius breathes out harshly. “No I’m not! Why would I be freaking out? I’m perfectly fine!”

Regulus shakes his head, and then disappears.

“Asshole,” Sirius mumbles to himself, and continues his pacing.

Okay, so he _might be_ freaking out the tiniest bit, and he’s not even sure why, but that doesn’t matter. It’s his wedding day, it’s supposed to be full of emotions, right?

Though, it should be positive emotions, Sirius thinks. He really has no idea why he’s stressing all of a sudden. He never was and suddenly the morning of _the day_ comes, and he’s a wreck. His heart is racing, and there’s a lump in his throat, and he’s sure he won’t be able to eat today or else he might throw up, and that really wouldn’t be the best on his damn wedding day. 

He wonders how Remus is doing. He last saw him 15 hours ago (none of them really cares about tradition too much, but their parents firmly stated that it would be _unacceptable_ for them to sleep in the same bed before their wedding, and to see each other at all this morning until they’re at the altar together), which is _way_ too long for Sirius’s liking. Is Remus also as stressed as he is, Sirius wonders. He could be, because Remus _always_ stresses, but also, stressing on their _wedding day_ is rather irrational, and Remus is the most rational person Sirius have ever met.

They really are a crazy match, Remus and him. Polar opposites, everyone always says. Where Sirius is loud and out there, Remus is quiet and withdrawn. Remus is there with his gentle smiles and books and tea with milk and sugar, while Sirius has flashy grins and his six string and black coffee. Remus dresses in warm sweaters and colourful buttons up and flannels, jeans that are baggy and worn out, red converses; Sirius strolls around draped in all black, with band t-shirts, doc martens, ripped jeans that fit him like second skin, a leather jacket he never moves without. 

Sirius is rebellious, loud, impatient, impulsive and reckless, emotion driven in the worst way. He comes from an awful, abusive family that left him with issues he’s still battling, even years after leaving. He doesn’t sleep as much as normal people do, he smokes even though Remus hates it, he’s rubbish at talking through any issues he has and way too often he doesn’t think before speaking or doing something.

And Remus… Remus is kind, and patient, and understanding. He always listens, and always gives the best advice and comfort; he controls his emotions and thinks things through. He’s the smartest person Sirius knows, and yet so humble and shy. He’s just _good._ And Sirius is not.

Sirius remembers thinking about that same thing, way back when he was 16 and hopelessly crushing on Remus. He remembers telling James he won’t ever say a thing about it because they wouldn’t work out, because they’re so _different_ and Remus is all the things Sirius wishes he could be but never will. To this day, he knows Remus is way out of his league. It’s something he keeps thinking about; there’s days he wakes up and thanks his lucky star for Remus having him.

And here they are now. To be married in just under an hour. 

Sirius’s stomach squeezes uncomfortably. If he’s here thinking of just how incompatible they are, who’s to say Remus didn’t come to the same conclusion?

_Oh God, what if he changed his mind?_

The door opens again, but this time, it’s James walking into the room.

“Regulus said you’re freaking out.”

“I’m not,” Sirius hisses, even though he knows it’s a lie, and he knows James can tell that it is. 

“And what is it exactly that you’re _not_ freaking out about?” James raises a brow, leaning against the door. 

“It’s-,” Sirius sighs, his eyes falling to the floor. “D’you think this is a good idea? Y’know… getting married and all?”

James sighs. “Bit too late for changing your mind, mate-”

“I’m not! I mean… _I’ve_ not changed my mind, it’s just… he might’ve.”

“ _Remus?_ Really? You mean the guy that’s been fuckin’ smitten with you ever since we were 17? The same guy that almost cried the first time you told him you’re in love with him? The one that said yes to you proposing marriage and then spent a year and a half organising _your_ wedding?”

“I just…” James stops his hand from running through his hair (something he always does when he’s stressed, and his hair being untouchable right now _isn’t helping)._ “We’re so different, and I know I love him and I’m so glad he loves me back, I am, but I can’t help but think it won’t work out. He’s so much better than me, James. He’s bound to realize he can do better-”

James grabs both his wrists and makes Sirius look at him.

“Listen to me carefully. You’re a great person, no matter what you think, okay? Yes, you have flaws, but that’s human - we all do. You’re so much more than that, though. You’re a fantastic, smart, funny, attractive guy, and Remus won’t leave you. You know why? Because you guys are the most perfect couple I’ve ever met. You might be different but you fit together, it _works._ You’ve been together for five years for a reason. There’s not one couple I’ve met that worked so well together as you and him. You love him, don’t you?”

“Of course I do-”

“And he loves you. That’s all you need. That’s why it’ll work out, even if you’re a little different from each other. So stop being an idiot and overthinking things. He wants to marry you just as much as you do.”

With that, James lets go of his wrists, and pulls Sirius in a quick hug.

“Thanks, Jamie,” Sirius mumbles. James always has a calming effect on him, somehow. No matter how messed up his thoughts are, somehow, James always manages to work it out with him and calm him down.

And the dread does subside. There’s no more anxiety in his stomach, or ‘what if’s on his mind. 

Instead, he smiles. “I’m gonna marry him today. Wow,” Sirius says, more to himself than to James. James laughs in reply. “Fuck. It’s really happening.”

“That’s the attitude I wanna see! C'mon, we should be in the garden already, dad's downstairs waiting to walk you out. Lily should be just about done with your husband-to-be. He’s also freaking out. Dunno what’s that about weddings that has people so nervous.”

“Just you wait until you pop the question to Lily, we’ll see just how calm _you_ will be.”


End file.
